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The Kayleep

by Shinobu girl

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1.
I think I don’t know what love is So it calls itself “kaylee” The first thing you said to me was that I fit in this doorway perfectly You wanted me to deserve great things Then let me guard your beer I knew I wouldn’t remember if you came back for it I know I wanted this to be a testing of the senses So I would put exposure over an answer I made up anyway But you really forgot about me And in this dry dirt, I saw someone without me I was downcast when you called out my name So I tucked my jaw in “Hey stray stranger!” You stuck your finger through your throat and said we’re all independent But both our mouths were open and you said everything at once Whether time is ignorant or rejection is powerful you waited till I had to leave you said you purposely didn’t listen to scattered, but kept it in reasoning’s reach you said you were going back to digging new ground, but with the worms looking up you said you were in the trunk of a lie, but hated apologizing for how good the view was you said “nice indigo shirt”, but I was just black with white text It’s too graphic! But you never cared for design Recognition over reprieve That’s when I realized I had to leave There is a string that’s made to fall apart in water It’s meant to couple instead of fixing a connection I don’t care if its death hurts, I need this rain to scream That i don’t just love you, i like you
2.
haha hey! 08:39
And I can’t tell if it hurts Kaylee, I am just like you! Now that everything’s done I can sell you what my truth was I won’t say I don’t know you anymore Love is not a way to follow, but a barebones story I need the disbelief to be fluid, a river cannot be stopped There is no suspension, so the path burns itself I can see you talking For I do all the walking now When this is gone, neither of us will lose it It’s just in a place neither of us can take a picture from BUT MY IMAGE OF YOU CAN HELP ME TRACE The first thing I said to you was if you listened to scattered I am not a cannibal, this ear is just so easy to grip Then you explained how I would only last two months in the six you just left You knew You were kissed by the shore line! You knew you were kissed by the shore’s lie! I tried to make you into an album With each song being a memory only we were a part of I only scraped out three melted songs They stretched because they stuck to each other's continuous plasma You broke the lighting! Your spirit was frozen lightning That bounced between the drops of rain Stealing their heat while remaining connected It was not a trail, it was your idea of self awareness That by being "their" you could change it I saw you come in exactly ten minutes late The hinges were pressed until the frame broke out of its guest I asked if you knew that we both had just left! And you finally said “this ending feels right!” We’re just two unkillable people trying to find new ways to hurt!!! You scorched through my eyes to find out what my blood is worth That’s the only thing I wouldn’t give to find what material you learnt We are just separate based on how we ended up burnt You said everyone is tucked in around here I pressed my shirt to make it my skin, not hide my similarities You were wrong! I’d rather scald your throat than sketch your heart Do I really need to state that? Well you are a state so I have to express sex So you can draw that I never want to sketch at all One person can never see more than one half of the sun We can close our eyes, when we’re jut open, but the cracks aren’t the whole of each other Please don’t start apart You just want to fill in a heart You won’t know what the shape imparts Or what you mean to the laaaaaaaark I’m convinced (my) memories are aaaaaaaaaaaart And when You speak in flowers I just vomit them back up But I prefer this slow death To exploding my heart They’re clogged either way Haha hey! The bastard stays I don’t think. I know what love is. But I have to feel it for you Or else ash turns to dust just to Start again! This is how the ending is known! I’m still those three... Because I never wanted you to stay I only wanted to find where you ran towards What you called home And who said “that isn’t my name”
3.
This rain is turning to snow And there are no birds to keep my center I’m not saying goodbye to the bottle I always refilled I am just peeling off the stickers I never put on A rich meaning has no depth And there is no hope in faith You were a guarantee for this pen to click This is where I didn’t want to find something Everything is so bright compared to where I live I returned with a sprint that made me afraid of this life My spirit chose the color white to keep this momentum in friction There was lightning that started this, but only the embers built this door You told me how many versions of you I’ve said goodbye to I just want to see them later, not collide them I know there’s a you out there But I can’t fuck my way out of this garden There’s too much compression in between these times Too much absorption leads to a darker, clearer fashion I learned this by seeing all the letters that made up one number You gave that me more time, and they just got wetter All of these lives are built on the trail they don’t mean to leave But for some reason, you and I were supposed to be something new! We found each other starting the lives we would never stop But we were captured for what others could teach from our burst rate! One shot, two shot And the third represents the other’s blood The first one’s free in purpose I remember the second existed to hit Both the storybooks out of our catching hands This is the exact moment our tails weren’t in our control The production of dust made the comet expect a future But it turned every ice crystal into fluid ink And the paper was dry at the core of all this space I am setting myself on fiiiiiiiirrrrrreeee! Everything is destroying itself for eachother’s fusion! (reason!) You finally put yourself out... The other half of the sun is black...

about

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a couple songs about feeling sad about going over someone. every part of this project is done with the first take of every recording, with the entire writing of this actually being done in one session. i wanted to try and combine my own life with the characters i've made in the past, but i think i only found out what makes us different in the first place. funny how what makes someone noticeable is the same thing you try and find in others
❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵❤۵ (´〰`)♡*✲゚*。
I wrote those last words sometime in early march, when I only had the demo of nice indigo shirt and words i don't remember writing to go off of. What I do remember is thinking I'd record the rest during my extended stay at an abandoned college campus and finish no later than may 1st. Without saying too much, life decided it wanted to fuck around and here we are. I'm pretty sure I learned the difference between being alone and wanting friends with passion a long time ago, but I'm a lot more confident now. As for whatever this is, I know there are by far the best songs I've ever made. This album, if you even want to call it that, has gone through hell and back just to sound like shit. So here's to all the places that I visited that inspired me during Scattered; now they just want me to remember.

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released July 24, 2020

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Syrup In a Can Camden, South Carolina

I have a lot of names these days. kinda wish i remembered them.

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